Online Dating Advice: Tips and Tricks (#6-#10)

Adventures in online dating

Online Dating Tips

In a continuing effort to find a suitable match I would like to offer some  more of my online dating tips and tricks for one to better understand the mind of DCK. …

Tip #6—Excuses will not be tolerated. I completely understand that online format may not be “your thing.” It is not real life and it very much is a game of sorts. But you are here under your own volition, you don’t have the choice to not play. I don’t want to hear, “I’d rather talk in person” or “if you are interested maybe we can talk.” Well then talk, fool. You are not getting my number at hello, you don’t get to by-pass ”all the BS ”, and you sure as hell aren’t going to have a shot at me with such weak game. I am here to play and you best believe I am damn good at it. If this were football, it’d be like you saying, “yeah I don’t do offensive strategy. It is just not my thing. So if you would just give me the ball and let me run past you and let me score, you will see the kind of winner I am.” Yeah, right. Not today, sweetheart.

Tip #7—I have integrity. If I’d do it drunk, I’d do it sober. But go ahead and buy me that drink because…. Tip #8—I don’t do cheap, selfish pricks.

BONUS TIP—I would never ask you to buy me a drink. It’s not my style. If a woman, any woman, asks you to buy her a drink. Don’t. Reasons why: 1) If she has to ask you, you are already behind the curve to make the cut, she’s looking to eliminate you, dude-just give her a reason—and not looking at you as any type of prospect. An interested woman (if she had any brains at all) would not create situations which give you the chance to f*ck up her illusions of you so quickly. Or 2) she is interested and has just revealed how low her bar is. Lucky you.

Tip # 9—Embrace your inner asshole. I can appreciate him within reason. Remember him? He took care of you, looked out for you, believed in you. What happened to him? When did you start believing that he wasn’t good enough and let him go thinking you could fill that gap with what “they” wanted for you instead. !!Warning!! Inner assholes have a tendency to embrace their own inner whinny little bitches. Results may vary.

Tip #10—Regardless of whether or not I would like to know more about you, I am not EVER going to “just ask” you first.  Yes I am a modern woman, yes I know what I want, and yes I know how to get it, but who the fuck does that shit. Women I mean. There are certain bars in place. If you can’t get over yourself because saying “hello” first is so damn beneath you and/or you think I want/need to chase you, you are better off staying in the kiddie pool with girls with something to prove that will ask you. They don’t know any better—dull, giggly little chits that they must be that have left you indifferent to the entire process of your own sex drive. You’d be too boring of a fuck for me anyway.

 

click here for tips #1-5
Stay tuned for more….

 

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