Today’s Episode: From “hello” to “you are a stupid f*ck”—in 80 words or less

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Read the following profile (in part) and DCK’s introduction to him.  Please understand DCK does try,and has the best of intentions, but her inner warm and fuzzies do not translate into a simple “Hello.” See if you can follow her between the line tone that starts as a light and easy nonsense opener to amusement at his expense, to irritation to  Aww HELL no! This-fool-be-thinking-I-am-sympathetic-to-his-“crazy women”-plight. From hello to you are a stupid f*ck—in 80 words or less—it might be a record

His profile:

….6’2 190lbs brown, brown. I am intelligent, romantic, affectionate, passionate, caring and know how to have FUN!!! My taste in music, movies and activities is very broad. As you will see if you continue to read….

Movies: Shawshank Redemption is probably my all time favorite. Recent movies I liked. End of Watch, Django Unchained. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Notebook(Bite me if you have something to say about that one. Best romantic movie of all time),The Hangover, Wedding Crashers. I also find that I like movies that no one has ever heard of. Freeway, S.F.W. and Employee Of The Month(Not the one with Jessica Simpson. The one with Matt Dillon) are three of them off the top of my head….

Life: I like to enjoy life. I like to spend time with a special person. I can do just about anything from partying all night to chilling on the couch with a movie. Anything that exercises the mind, body or soul. I am a nice guy with an edge. I don’t give any sh*t and I won’t take any shit. So if you are into playing childish games or drama then you need to find a little boy. The only games I like to play are sports, PS3, board, card and bedroom games. Not exactly in that order….

BTW. I DO NOT chase girls. That is a childish game. So do yourself a favor and don’t play hard to get. Only little boys play that game. And trust me. You will not be happy with a little boy unless you’re a pedophile. So if you are interested say Hi. If I am, I will reply.

 

The introduction:

DCK: “The Notebook? Duuuude, you HAD me…until I saw that.”

Him: “You would really dismiss someone because they like a movie you don’t? You know how retarded that sounds? That is like saying you won’t date someone who has a favorite color different than yours. I would say good luck to you but there isn’t that much luck in the world. You need a big dose of reality lady”

DCK: “What? It was an opening line playing off your profile description. I guess I should have LOL’d it, Mr. “I am intelligent. You Notebook types, sheesh. Sensitive. Am glad I didn’t.”

Him: “Well when you have waded through a sea of delusional women who think Zac Efron is going to whisk them away on his magical unicorn and take them to his castle in the clouds and that he has a billion dollars and a twelve-inch dick you get kind of tired of the stupidity. I really think that they are so afraid of being hurt that they create this list of things a guy has to have that they know that no man could live up to it all just because they are scared.”

DCK: “Still not sure I am following. You are blaming your lack of reading comprehension on them—romanitical, magical unicorn loving, damsels in distress—and my obvious, spoken disdain of similar romantical, unrealistic tripe, of course, made me sound like them?”

Him: *delete and block user*

 

 

PS–I should have taken my own advice  (Tip #10) when he stated he doesn’t chase girls. But what was the harm in hello? …

I must have issues. I think I’ve stated that.

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