Today’s Episode: “Life ain’t nothing but a funny funny riddle….”

Maybe you should have had "winner" tattooed instead

Maybe you should have had “winner” tattooed instead

…Thank God, I’m not a country boy.

Read the following online introduction, and (dudes) please note if you are 45 years old and this is how you address someone who has given ample warning that she is NOT a country bumpkin chit. You should be so lucky to only have your balls handed back to you figuratively. I am doing you a favor.

And for the record. If it helps…you are not a pushover if you don’t get in my way in the first place.

Him: “U r so beautiful. I’d love to chat with you”

DCK: “Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

Him: “Lol. Not till now”

Him: “U r gorgeous”

DCK: “Yes. I got that the first time”

Him: “No. I said beautiful the first time.”

Him: “Ok. So. I’m a country boy. I like simple

DCK: “I see that. We aren’t compatible. My experience., “easy going” is man code for “I shouldn’t have to try so hard”

Him: “Oh no. U got that wrong”

DCK: “Look dude. You havent asked one leading question to show any interest or so much as said your name and/or hello between the three times you have already tried to tell me I am wrong. (Chatting isn’t really chatting, beautiful and gorgeous should never be interpreted as the same in opening line bullshit, and me telling you flat-out I am not interested can’t be true until you lose interest in me first. My bad…) You basically said “hey you are pretty i’d fuck you ( no you didn’t SAY that but really you did.) so why don’t you start since I have shown to not want to try. I am easy-going…” (another point to me. Me, 4. You, 0)”

Him: “Hey. Sorry girly. I’m offshore I had to work. I just want to tell u. I would spank u for talking like that. Lol. But u might like it. U really need to hear me out first before u form an opinion. I do like a strong woman. But I’d have to put u in your place. In person of corse.”

Him: “I am by far a pushover I know I can give u what u need. And. U will listen. But. Can’t really do it here”

 

DCK: “Girly? You  can’t put me in any kind of place, fool. You can’t even get past hello. As for hearing you out, my opinion of you is spot on as is. You jumped straight from not quite hello to spanking. I heard enough. (before prior comment)  I don’t need, don’t want, anything you (may or may not) have got.

 

*end of conversation*

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